I am a handsome writer and very ugly and nasty editor from Vancouver, Washington.
An honest to god reported story about watching basketball with a bunch of NBA scouts in suburban Portland.
A jaundiced retrospective about LaMarcus Aldridge's career in Portland, which lacked both poetry and tragedy but still was infused with meaning anyway.
A reported piece from a Pokemon Tournament in Portland.
A brief memoir about spending ten days in silent, meditative contemplation, and how crazy it makes you.
An edition of my long running column about basketball highlights, featuring a depressing children's story about the boy who was cursed to like Kawhi Leonard.
I bought these sweatpants for the express purpose of making this at a Goodwill in Seattle. I really liked them, but then I lost them at a hotel in Los Angeles.
An extended introduction to a fake basketball offense, featuring detailed play charts and John Wooden slander.
A guide to talking to a woman who is beating you up.
Look: when you're a sportswriter and the Olympics are on, you simply have to write fan fiction about the Capybara who lives on the golf course.
I recapped the Super Bowl using charming pen drawings and less charming words.
I destroyed a bunch of cheap cell phones I guess to make fun of Tom Brady? It was a strange time.
A thinker about Damian Lillard on the occasion of him lighting up Steph Curry in a random midseason contest.
An observation of Steve Blake and his relationship to "Old Portland" nostalgia.
A breakdown of the Tournament of Mountains, a once-every-10,000-years fighting tournament between the Earth's greatest landmasses.